I am sitting in bed listening to Katie Hopkins covering the 'sent home for refusing to wear heels' story on her LBC show.
She has already said feminazis and vagenda.
But anyway, let's not talk about her, because that's what she wants.
Point is, all of this reminds me of a job I had in 2006 at a receptionist company called Office Concierge.
You had to wear heels, an air hostess-esque silk neck scarf, you had to put your hair in a bun and crucially you had to wear blusher and lipstick.
If you maintained an exceptional level of preening, you stood to win the Best Groomed Lady award at the Christmas party.
Yeah. Bit like Crufts but for human women.
I never won.
We all tried to duck the rules. With mixed degrees of success.
I saw one girl get manhandled once by a supervisor (yes, they sent people out to check) who caught her with her hair down and no lipstick.
Scandalous.
The supervisor took an elastic band from that day's post and scraped her hair up quite painfully. Then she put lipstick on her.
And then David Mellor turned up at the desk and it was an awkward scene.
Made even more awkward by him demanding that I carry his bag upstairs for him.
His bag full of erectile dysfunction medication.
And there ends my anecdote.
She has already said feminazis and vagenda.
But anyway, let's not talk about her, because that's what she wants.
Point is, all of this reminds me of a job I had in 2006 at a receptionist company called Office Concierge.
You had to wear heels, an air hostess-esque silk neck scarf, you had to put your hair in a bun and crucially you had to wear blusher and lipstick.
If you maintained an exceptional level of preening, you stood to win the Best Groomed Lady award at the Christmas party.
Yeah. Bit like Crufts but for human women.
I never won.
We all tried to duck the rules. With mixed degrees of success.
I saw one girl get manhandled once by a supervisor (yes, they sent people out to check) who caught her with her hair down and no lipstick.
Scandalous.
The supervisor took an elastic band from that day's post and scraped her hair up quite painfully. Then she put lipstick on her.
And then David Mellor turned up at the desk and it was an awkward scene.
Made even more awkward by him demanding that I carry his bag upstairs for him.
His bag full of erectile dysfunction medication.
And there ends my anecdote.